One of the most common reactions to uncomfortable emotions is to resist them. When anxiety, fear, or sadness arises, we instinctively try to push those feelings away. We distract ourselves, try to think positively, or fight against the discomfort.
But the truth is, resisting emotions only makes them stronger. The more you resist, the more stuck you feel.
Think of resistance like a dam holding back a river. The more pressure you apply to keep emotions at bay, the more energy you expend, and the stronger the force behind those emotions becomes. Eventually, that emotional “dam” bursts, flooding your mind and body with anxiety or frustration. This resistance cycle is exhausting and keeps your nervous system in a constant state of tension.
It’s important to understand that resistance isn’t just about avoiding emotions—it’s also about resisting resistance itself. We feel frustrated with ourselves for feeling anxious. We judge ourselves for being sad or angry. This creates a feedback loop: you resist the emotion, then resist the fact that you’re resisting, and the cycle continues.
Breaking this cycle starts with acceptance.
You’re not a bad person or broken or somehow inadequate because you are feeling anxiety.
Letting yourself feel what you’re feeling doesn’t mean you agree with it or want it to stay—it simply means you stop fighting against reality.
When you allow emotions to flow without judgment or resistance, they lose their intensity and naturally pass through.
It’s also essential to understand that uncomfortable emotions are messengers. They point to the areas in your life where healing is needed.
Anxiety, sadness, or anger often arise when a subconscious belief or thought isn’t aligned with the truth of who you are.
These emotions give you the opportunity to examine your inner dialogue and recognize where your beliefs may be outdated or harmful.
It’s through acknowledging and understanding these emotions that true healing can begin.
For example, persistent anxiety might be pointing to a deeply rooted belief that you’re not safe or capable.
Anger may be highlighting areas where your boundaries have been crossed.
These emotions aren’t problems to be fixed—they’re signals guiding you toward greater self-awareness and inner transformation.
You need to recognize the thought patterns and beliefs before you can change them!
Here’s how to start practicing non-resistance and using emotions as guides for healing:
1. Notice when you’re resisting– Pay attention to moments when you feel yourself fighting against an emotion.
Ask yourself, Am I trying to push this away?
2. Allow the emotion to exist – Instead of suppressing or avoiding the feeling, let it be present.
Say to yourself, It’s okay to feel this right now.
3. Explore the message –
Ask yourself, What is this emotion showing me? What thought or belief is it connected to?
Look for the underlying message that needs healing or adjustment.
4. Drop the judgment – Let go of any judgment about what you’re feeling. Emotions are temporary experiences, not reflections of your worth or identity.
When you stop resisting resistance, you break free from the cycle that keeps you stuck. You create space for emotions to flow naturally, without overwhelming you.
Over time, this practice calms your nervous system, brings a deeper sense of peace, and opens the door for lasting healing and self-awareness.
By listening to your emotions instead of fighting them, you give yourself the opportunity to change the thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve you and step into a more empowered, peaceful state of being.
