I have found that the number one issue that prevents people from moving forward in life and achieving their goals is what we in the therapy world call – a victim mentality. You want to move forward in your life, relationships and career, but issues from your past keep resurfacing. You find yourself making the same mistakes over and over again. Your past experiences have caused you to expect the same sort of results in future. Why can’t you break free from this pattern?
You are stuck in the past is because you see yourself as a victim. You have a deeply ingrained victim mentality. Now before you blow me off and think this doesn’t apply to you, allow me to clarify.
You will know if this mentality is affecting your life if you find your mind frequently dominated by your past. Are you often thinking about how others have treated you in the past? Do you often think about how situations and circumstances prevent you from achieving your goals?
- You loved and you were rejected. And that is why you can’t find love.
- Your ex cheated on you and that’s why you can’t trust
- You were abused as a child and that’s why you lie.
- You did not receive that promotion and that’s why your career has not advanced.
- You weren’t born with a high IQ and that’s the reason you can’t learn the things you need to advance yourself.
- You constantly worry about failure because of mistakes in the past. – You are plagued by fear on a daily basis.
– You find yourself sabotaging your future because you just expect things to turn out poorly. You have come to see yourself as a victim of people and circumstances from your past. And this victim mentality is keeping you stuck in your pain. Keeping you trapped in the past. Keeping you from having the future you want.
You cling to the story you keep telling yourself….
- I am a victim.
- I am a victim of all of these people that hurt me.
- I am a victim of bad circumstances.
- I am a victim of poor genetics.
By doing this, you are not taking personal responsibility over your life and future. Your pain will just continue on and will keep you stuck indefinitely. Like it has for so many others.
You may be doing many things to transform your life. You spend hours reading books on personal development, meditating, and trying to change yourself for the better. But just because you are taking the time to heal….doesn’t mean you will.
If you’re going to heal the past you have to have the right thoughts – thoughts that lead to healing.It is your mind’s job to protect you and keep you from pain- physical or emotional. When you view your past, present, or future from the standpoint of being a victim -your mind will seek to protect you from being hurt again by preventing you from taking risks and moving forward into your future. If you see yourself as a victim, your mind will work hard to keep you from being hurt again by keeping you from what hurt you in the past. Your mind will send thoughts and feelings that warn you not to proceed into what it perceives as dangerous territory. It does this in order to protect you. You may find yourself dealing with constant free-floating anxiety in your life, with your mind constantly circulating memories of painful events from your past. You ruminate on these memories and thoughts and the victim mentality perpetuates.
For example, if you had a heartbreaking relationship in your past and you can’t seem to get over it, it is often because your mind is continually churning up memories of your last relationship with the goal of keeping you from getting hurt in this one. Your mind will remind you of the pain you were in to keep you from feeling it again – even if that keeps you from having a future. The mind does this because it’s primary role is self-preservation, not helping you reach your future goals. Your mind may actually be preventing you from achieving your goals.
Why? Because you have told your mind that you were a victim. Without realizing it, you have made yourself a prisoner of the past. If you want to have a future wherein you achieve your goals and truly shine, you will have to next break out of this prison. You are the only one who holds the key. But you need an escape plan!
So many of the problems you currently have in this life may be a direct result of this victim mentality. Admitting and acknowledging that this is a problem for you, is the first step to true change. Then you need to do the healing work to enable yourself to move from victim mentality to a place of empowerment.
Right now manifesting such a huge change in your mindset may seem overwhelming. But remember that when overcoming personal issues, it is important you first dispel any beliefs that hider your progress. The number one belief that will slow your healing is believing that changes of mindset have to be difficult and take a long time. Actually, If you dig up the root of your problem– the whole plant dies. But if you pick the leaves off one by one, yes, it will indeed take a long time for this mentality to die.
But dig out the root and you can rise above long standing patterns of victimization. Yes, It’s really that simple. By eradicating this negative mindset and installing a mindset of personal responsibility and , you will see you entire life transform. You will have eliminated much of what keeps you from the joy, peace and love you desire.You are not stuck. You are not a victim. Things are not hopeless. You are responsible for your own life. Your mind can be trained to believe this. YOU CAN BE FREE!
