Yesterday I had an incident. Something that triggered pain from my past that I thought had long been healed. No one did anything wrong, but I found myself on the verge of tears from something that would not have bothered most people to the extent it bothered me.
Have you ever become upset or triggered by something incredibly minor like that?
It is then you realized that there is a space within you that has not fully healed.
Years ago, I became involved in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser. If you have ever been in a relationship like this you know how it begins…flowers, love songs, romantic words…perfection. He was fulfilling every desire of the female heart – until.
Until I became pregnant. Suddenly he was feeling trapped, and the abuse began. He was sadistic in his psychological abuse and incredibly cunning at making me think that I was the problem. When I left that relationship, my self-worth was practically non-existent. I had put up with the abuse for too long, as so many do. My lack of self-worth after years in a fundamentalist religious cult had left me vulnerable to a man like this. I ignored the red flags and lived out my fantasy until I could not pretend anymore.
That relationship and the months following were some of the most painful of my life. I began to take a hard look at the deep insecurities that led me to allow myself to be abused. I discovered the nature of the subconscious mind as the driver behind the beliefs and mindsets that were making my life such hell. The healing had begun and continues to this day. It is a never-ending journey.
I have come so far from the broken down woman I once was. I am so thankful for my freedom. With each shift in my mindset, my life follows suite.
Yet, there is always healing work that still needs to be done in our lives isn’t there?
So often, when confronted with painful emotions, we will do anything to get rid of them. We drown them in alcohol, numb them with drugs, or distract ourselves from them with Netflix. We are not listening…so they will only scream louder. Calling us to pay attention. To heal. And often, when we ignore them they will begin to transform into physical pain, because we would not listen.
Learn to listen closely to your emotions. They have an important lesson to teach you about the places in your heart that still need healing. They call attention to disempowering beliefs and mindsets that hide within your subconscious mind, keeping you down.