Let’s be honest. Everyone has encountered difficult people—the kind who seem to bring negativity into every room, the ones who push buttons, or the ones who just seem impossible to please. It’s easy to label them as “jerks” or worse. For this article, I’ll call them A-holes. But here’s the important truth: most people are not A-holes. Most people are good.
If we go through life believing that everyone is out to get us or that the world is full of bad people, we’ll see life through a distorted lens. That belief is not only false—it colors every aspect of our experience. We begin expecting people to be mean or dishonest, and in turn, we treat them with suspicion or hostility. Eventually, we create the very reality we fear: a world filled with conflict, frustration, and loneliness.
To shift this lens, some choose more personalized work—such as Individualized Mindset Coaching Sessions or the 30 Day Transformational Hypnosis Package—that allows deeper transformation in how we perceive others and ourselves.
But when we start from the perspective that most people are doing the best they can, our relationships change. We give others the benefit of the doubt, and we treat them in ways that bring out the best instead of the worst.
Most People Are Good—They Just Have Bad Beliefs
Everyone’s mind is programmed. Just like you may have struggled with anxiety, negative thinking, or a harsh inner critic, other people also carry mental programming from their childhood, culture, or life experiences. Sometimes this programming causes them to react in ways that are far from ideal.
This is something we often explore with clients at Geauga Mind Body Hypnosis, where belief systems are gently uncovered and restructured to support healthier emotional responses and deeper empathy.
When someone lashes out, acts selfishly, or treats others poorly, it usually isn’t because they are inherently bad. More often, they’re operating from bad beliefs that cause bad behavior. Beliefs like:
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “People are against me.”
- “I have to protect myself at all costs.”
These beliefs filter the way they see the world and drive their actions. Recognizing this truth makes it easier to have compassion.
Remember When You’ve Made Mistakes Too
Think about the times you’ve hurt someone and regretted it later. Maybe you said something in anger, ignored someone who needed you, or acted out of fear. We all have moments we wish we could take back.
Recognizing that everyone has been “the difficult person” at some point helps us extend grace to others. Most of the time, people aren’t trying to be hurtful—they’re just doing the best they can with the knowledge, tools, and emotional resources they have.
This doesn’t excuse harmful behavior, but it does remind us to respond with empathy rather than instant condemnation.
Forgiveness and Healthy Boundaries
Forgiveness is powerful. Carrying resentment only hurts you, not the other person. When you forgive, you free yourself from bitterness.
That said, forgiveness does not mean allowing unsafe people to stay in your life. There is a small percentage of the population—less than 5%—who fall into categories like sociopaths, narcissists, or psychopaths. These individuals are not simply operating from bad beliefs; they are genuinely unsafe, incapable of healthy relationships, and unwilling to take responsibility for their actions.
When dealing with these people, boundaries are essential. You can forgive them in your heart while still protecting yourself. In fact, one of the healthiest things you can do is eliminate toxic influences from your life.
You’ll know someone falls into this category if they consistently:
- Refuse to take responsibility or admit wrongdoing.
- Manipulate or gaslight to avoid accountability.
- Never show genuine remorse for hurting others.
- Repeatedly cross boundaries, no matter how clearly you set them.
With these individuals, the best strategy is not to fix the relationship but to walk away.
Practical Strategies for Dealing With People (Even the Difficult Ones)
Since most people are good but imperfect, the best approach is to develop strategies that help you interact in ways that strengthen relationships instead of tearing them down. Here are some powerful habits to adopt:
1. Recognize That Most People Are Good and Helpful
Adopt the mindset that the majority of people you meet want connection, not conflict. If you assume goodness first, you’re more likely to bring out kindness in return.
2. Truly Listen to Others
Most conflict comes from misunderstanding. Instead of listening to respond, listen to understand. Ask yourself: What’s really going on inside this person? What are they afraid of? What do they need? This shift reduces defensiveness on both sides.
3. Remember Your Own Mistakes
Before rushing to judgment, remind yourself of times you’ve fallen short. Compassion comes naturally when we remember that we, too, have made poor choices in the past.
4. Realize People Are Doing the Best They Can
Even when someone’s best isn’t very good, it’s still their best at that moment. This doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior—it means not personalizing it. Their reaction says more about them than about you.
5. Practice Intellectual Humility
Ask yourself: Could I be seeing this wrong? Sometimes we misinterpret tone, intentions, or context. A little humility can prevent unnecessary conflict and help us stay calm.
6. Accept That Conflict Is Normal
Conflict is not a sign that something is broken—it’s part of every healthy relationship. Learning to work through disagreements with patience and respect deepens trust.
7. Give Grace for Imperfection
You don’t have to be perfect, and neither does anyone else. Allow yourself and others room to make mistakes, apologize, and grow.
8. Remove Toxic People When Necessary
If someone consistently refuses to take responsibility, manipulates others, or never admits when they’re wrong, they are toxic. These people will drain your energy and destroy your peace. It’s okay to cut them out of your life.
9. Recognize When Relationships Are Impossible
Some people are simply incapable of healthy relationships. Accepting this truth saves you years of frustration. Stop pouring your heart into relationships that cannot and will not work.
10. Stop Caring What Others Think of You
No matter who you are, some people won’t like you. That’s not a reflection of your worth—it’s a reflection of their perspective. Freeing yourself from the need for universal approval is one of the most liberating steps you can take.
Putting It All Together
Dealing with A-holes doesn’t mean living with constant frustration—it means approaching people with the right mindset and the right strategies.
Support for building that mindset is available through Geauga Mind Body Hypnosis, where individuals explore tools like Transformative Hypnosis, Individualized Mindset Coaching Sessions, and Customized Hypnosis to reset internal responses and develop stronger emotional clarity.
- Remember: most people are good, even if they’re carrying bad beliefs that sometimes drive bad behavior.
- Extend compassion by remembering your own mistakes.
- Practice forgiveness, but don’t confuse it with permission to let unsafe people remain in your life.
- Recognize that only a small percentage of people—less than 5%—are truly toxic, unsafe, and incapable of genuine relationship.
- Focus your energy on listening, understanding, and building stronger connections with those who are capable of healthy interaction.
When you believe that most people are good, you create a reality where kindness and cooperation become the norm. When you practice listening, humility, and forgiveness, you make relationships stronger. And when you set boundaries with toxic individuals, you protect your peace.
Start your journey today—book a FREE consultation or call 440-636-2029 to speak with someone who can help you take the next step.
At the end of the day, your perspective shapes your experience. If you expect to find a world full of A-holes, you will. But if you expect to find good people doing their best, that’s exactly what you’ll experience—and your relationships, health, and happiness will all benefit.
